A Letter of Concern-McDonalds Breakfast

Dear McDonalds,

Lets talk about your breakfast for a moment shall we? First of all, your pancakes are amazing. I don't know what you put in them, bits of fluffy clouds, unicorn tears, crack maybe? But whatever it is, it is amazing, and they are delicious.

There is only one problem with them, and that is that they are not available after 10:30am. Do you know what it is like to pull into a McDonalds drive thru at 10:38am, and the realize you are too late for pancakes, and have to pull out of the drive thru to go find a Jack In The Box where they serve breakfast all day?

There are some neighborhoods where you have to drive for miles to find the Jack In The Box. You even pass another McDonalds on the way. But if someone wants breakfast, they are going to get breakfast. And my friends, there are days when I just want breakfast.

You know if this is the only good business decision they ever made, it would still make them billions of dollars, because they are literally stealing your breakfast customers, and it's all your fault.

Didn't you see the movie Big Daddy?

Sorry about the language here peeps.

Why the heck didn't you get the memo? People still want to eat breakfast at 11am. Heck people still want to eat breakfast at 2pm. Even diners serve breakfast until 3. And though I do agree that your pancakes are much better than diner pancakes, I don't understand why it is so hard for you to serve breakfast for a few more hours. Think about it. Make the right decision.

On another note, I love getting the Big Breakfast Platter. Every kind of breakfast carb I could possibly want on one big styrofoam plate. Not to mention the eggs, sausage, and bacon. Wait there is no more bacon on the Big Breakfast Platter? What the heck happened there? Who made that decision? Bacon is the chocolate of meat. It is essential for a complete breakfast. If it is not part of the Big Breakfast Platter, then what is the point of ordering the platter?

Photo Credit

I apologize, but I had to take that photo right off of your website, I would have ordered my own big breakfast platter this morning, (substituting bacon for sausage of course) and took a photo of it with my own iphone, and then savored every delicious bite. But I unfortunately didn't get out of the house until 10:45. So, I had to borrow your photo. Thank you for that by the way.

Photo Credit

Speaking of bacon, look at this bacon. Does this look like good bacon to you? All super thin and tiny? I almost need a magnifying glass just to see it.

Would you serve bacon like this to your Dad? Neither would I. Can you get some thick-cut, manly bacon on there. I mean, if a pig has to give their life for someone to have meat with their breakfast, at least make it worth the pig's while. Don't insult the poor animal by slicing it's bacon all paper thin and then being chincy with it. I would even be willing to pay more for a breakfast item to have a substantial piece of bacon on it. Just sayin'.

I hope you will take this letter with a grain of salt, and really consider the points I have made.
I really have your best interest at heart here. Well, actually I really have my best interest at heart, and since I am your customer, it is in your best interest to serve my best interest, for obvious reasons.

Let me know what you decide.

Thank you for your time,
A Loyal customer (Except at 10:38am when all I want is pancakes.)

This letter was sent. I hope it makes it onto the right desk, and that we see some real change.