Dear Verizon Fios,
I am writing because of a great concern I have for your current customer base here in Southern California. You see, my husband, like many other people in this area, is a baseball fan. Specifically a Dodger fan. As I'm sure you are aware, you are not showing Dodger games through your service this season. This, my friends, is a problem...for several reasons:
#1 If my husband can't watch Dodger games from the comfort of our living room, he tends to buy tickets to the games. And he likes to get good seats, which tend to be expensive. More expensive than it would be for me to pay the cancellation fee and cancel your service to go back to Time Warner Cable where he can watch Dodger games at home.
#2 When we were first married and we didn't have a cable provider, he would just take me to a sports bar across the street from our apartment. It was awesome. He could watch the game and I could order a turkey/bacon/avocado sandwich and life was just fine. But now, you see, we have two kids, and there is no way I am dragging my two little sunshines to a Sports bar. Because they would mess the place up with all their running around, throwing things, and starting random lengthy conversations about Nemo, and preschool, and the like, while people are trying to watch games. Then, when we would go back for the next game, there would probably be a sign on the door that said "No Kids". And there are a limited number of sports bars in this area. (Like 150 or so) So that couldn't keep going on for very long.
#3 Have you ever met a Dodger fan? Nay, ever seen one? They are not all happy, wholesome, surf bums like my husband. Some of them are very serious about their team. Very. Serious. Some of them have LA Tattoos on their heads. Some of them carry baseball bats behind the seats in their El Caminos. Some of them are the kind of guys you wish were your cousins, and not the cousins of the guy you're about to fight. You know what I mean? So, I recommend you get this situation straightened out before tensions rise any higher, and all of LA county...***The rest of this line has been deleted so that I don't get indicted for insighting a riot.*** If you think I'm joking, just google "Riot in LA", and have yourself a nice little nights sleep after that.
So in summary, I would like to inform you that I would like for you to do whatever it is that you need to do to get this little issue rectified. Whatever the cause, contracts, money, maybe your company is owned by Giants fans, I don't care. Sort it out and get it fixed. You have until the next home series begins which is April 18th. If not, I will be canceling your service. And I cannot be responsible for what any other Dodger fans do as well.
You have been warned.
A Concerned Customer
Time Warner Cable conceded their monopoly of Dodger games, and announced that they will be showing the last two series of the Dodgers' regular season on Fox Sports 1, which will play across all cable and satellite networks. ...But it was too late. Verizon Fios didn't stand up for its Dodger fan customers soon or well enough, and therefore they will no longer be our provider. You can call it whatever you want, but I feel like in my own small way, I am sticking it to the man.
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