(No not the movie, although that movie is completely hilarious)
Once upon a time in Mexico, The Rookie and I went to a flea market/indoor swap-meet to buy a few things. I love Turquoise jewelry, and instantly fell in love with this necklace when I saw it. But the vendor wanted way to much for it.
So being the girl that I am, (I was raised by parents who taught me to haggle prices at swap meets and garage sales) I bartered with him for a while, and got him down to a price that made him cringe. In the process of bartering he put his arm around me while we were talking, which made me uncomfortable. But I let him do it anyway, because he was caving on the price. It worked, and I got the necklace for a sweet deal. Then afterwards I felt frustrated with myself and wished I hadn't let that man into my personal space like that.
A few days later we were back home, and I had this horrible dream that I was back at the flea market in Mexico. The same vendor guy was there, and he had his arm around me, and then he leaned in to forcefully kiss me.
Now letting someone put their arm around me was bad enough, but this was really not OK. So I cracked him in the ribs with my elbow and knocked him down. (I grew up playing water-polo, and quickly learned then, that elbows can be powerful weapons when someone is next to, or behind you) Thus fighting for my personal space and letting him know that I would not be a victim. The dream felt so real that I could actually feel my elbow winding up and then making direct contact with his ribs. It was amazing...
Until I woke up out of the dream to hear The Rookie Screaming.
Apparently the dream had felt so real because I had actually cracked him in the ribs with my lethal elbow. I quickly and profusely apologized which made him feel slightly better, and then laid there next to him for a long time thinking about the dream, and feeling so proud of myself for defending my honor. Even in a dream.
I think sometimes as women we feel like we have to let people do things that make us uncomfortable. But we don't. Looking back, the necklace wasn't worth how it made me feel to let that guy put his arm around me. I should have just scooted away and put my foot down to protect my space, even if it might have cost me a good deal.
But it was worth having that dream later, which showed me that I am a powerful woman, who can defend myself. And that makes me feel empowered to protect myself and my family. So a few years later when my son was born, and that mama bear instinct kicked in, (You know that instinct that comes when you have a newborn that makes you see everything as a possible threat to the health and well being of your infant?) I did not feel fear, I felt ready to protect, defend, and attack. And I am so grateful for that.
I also wear the necklace from time to time. First of all because it is rad, but also as a reminder to never allow myself to be a victim. To never grant someone that I don't trust, access to make me feel uncomfortable.
Side note: The Rookie fully recovered from the nocturnal sneak attack, and enjoys teasing me for being an "abusive wife" to this day, when this story comes up in conversation. Which I don't really mind, because I still feel bad that he had to take that one for the team.